My Favorite Bumper Stickers

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

You are depriving some poor village of its idiot!

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Earn cash in your spare time...blackmail friends.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

"I souport publik edekasion"

Beat rush hour, leave work at noon.

If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.

You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.

Illiterate? Write For Help.

Caution - Driver Legally Blonde.

Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.

I will mess with Texas.